Saturday, January 31, 2015

new normal

I was reading way back through this blog last week. I read about the day kindergarten Danny made me play Uno with him one morning before school for an hour and a half. Down came the tears because I'd love to rewind and have slow mornings before school to play Uno in my bed again. I hope I enjoyed it. I'm a little sad to think that I was probably just annoyed to be getting a late start on the laundry and toilet scrubbing. I've made up for it now because I hardly ever scrub the toilets anymore.

My kids go to school all day and I go to work. I park across the street and walk over with them. Cate stops in between sidewalk cracks 6 and 7 because she's 6 and a half years old. I give her hugs and kisses and tell her I love her. Danny stops on sidewalk crack 8 because he's 8 years old. Hugs, kisses and I love you's to him too. Then he tells me to check him out 30 minutes early (pretty much every day) and I tell him I'll try. Then they walk the rest of the sidewalk to their school and I turn and walk back to drive away. Most days I turn around and watch them walking together and sometimes they turn around and wave. And that's when the lump in my throat comes (pretty much every day) and I blink back the tears. I'm pretty sure this will never be easy. I mean really. I'm a mess. I'd much rather be playing Uno.

I'm not much for resolutions or goals or choosing one little word for the year. I have anxiety just thinking about meal planning for the week. How can I possibly think about an entire year? But I want to be better at coming here and writing something about our lives. I'm aiming for once a month. That feels doable.

Cate the Great

She's given up on wearing pants, in all shapes and forms and fabric. Skirts and dresses only if you please. And even then the sleeves have to be just the right length and no seam at her waist or else it'll bug her forever and the world is coming to an end!!!  I feel much frustration on school mornings. I'm sure you can imagine. And her hair. No more ponytails or piggy tails because there's not enough hairspray in the great state of Utah to make it feel juuuuuuuuust right near her ears to make her want to leave it alone. So her beautiful locks get to be free flowing every day, getting tangled by the wind. Hooray. And guess who's the lucky one to brush them out every morning.

Aside from the daily anxiety she gives me every morning, she's a gem. She loves school and homework. She's happy (pretty much up until about 7:30 every night). She craves people and interacting and playing. She can go to Grandma and Grandpa's house and play games, sing and dance for hours. Grandparents are a great audience for her. She loves her friends at school. Her favorite day is Friday because that's when they do Dance Party at lunch. There's music playing outside and she and her friends dance the recess away. I would love to see that one.

Oh, Danny Boy

Danny's the best little boy. He's a hugger and a kisser. Most of the hugs and kisses are for me. He loves basketball and football. He got a hoop for Christmas. Thanks to the complete lack of snow in our neck of the woods, he's got a clean backyard driveway spot to practice. He loves quiet time in his room playing with his Legos or bouncing a pink ball off the wall above his window. He likes to talk to himself in there and sometimes I stand outside his door and listen.

He hates school. It's too long. He loves his teacher because she doesn't talk to him. I don't quite know what to make of that but as long as he's happy, I'm happy. He's super smart and quite a math whiz. I wish he'd figure out how to enjoy reading more. Hopefully some day. He loves going to Grandma's house too, but mostly just if Cate isn't there. He works on whatever puzzle is currently set up on the folding table or plays on Grandma's iPad. He does not like Dance Party Fridays at school because he hates dancing. He goes to scouts on Wednesdays and is sometimes the only boy wearing the uniform. He's been mad at me about that more than once but I don't care.

Dan the Man

He goes to work and then comes home and tries to make his family happy. Tickle torture and professional wrestling with Cate. Basketball and football with Danny. And for me, he folds the clean towels I leave in a pile on his side of the bed. That's love.


I'm tired. I need to hire a cleaning lady. And a personal chef. I worry a lot. I wash dishes a lot. I miss the snow.